Julian at 13.5 months - healthy!

 
 

The boy's back!

 
 

Pain

Not only is my poor darling suffering from a virus which has resulted in no appetite, tiredness, pain and a horrible, irritating rash, but he also just got a new tooth, which popped up at the back of his gumline today. No wonder he's been up half the night since Friday, screaming his little heart out.

Musical talent

 
 

So, I'm tone-deaf, I think. Or, I might as well be. For as long as I can remember, I have not been able to hold a tune. Yet - somehow I have spawned a child with a talent for music.

Here's the evidence: he loves music. The trill of Tom Waits on the stereo can stop him from rolling on the change table, from crying, from refusing to eat. But, so far we haven't known if Julian is a music appreciator or a music talent. I'm now betting on the latter: last night, celebrating the festival of Succot at my parents' house, my nephew blew the shofar. Seconds later, Julian responded with his own shofar sound - it came from his lips - and it was identical. Try as I did, I wasn't able to replicate it at all. It was quite a sound.

This picture makes me laugh

Looking bigger and bigger...

Cockatoo head

Standing up at 13 months

So when are you...?

Now that Julian is a year old, I keep getting asked when we're having a second baby. I've been asked that question twice in one week, and not in a polite way, but in a "Isn't-it-time-you-hurry-up-and-reproduce?" way. Come to think of it, there's no polite way to tell a 39 year old woman that she should be having a second baby. I wouldn't dream of saying this to a fecund woman in her mid-20s, let alone one that's sporting grey hairs and crow's feet. Usually when people say, "You better hurry up and give Julian a brother or sister," I respond with, "Don't tell us - tell the scientists in the lab coats at the IVF clinic." That usually shuts them up. Or, if I'm feeling particularly disdainful, I say, "We've got 15 embryos left on ice - I can use them at any time. I can have a baby in ten years' time, if I want." Which might not be entirely accurate if you're at all familiar with IVF statistics, but they don't need to know that.

I'm surprised that people feel compelled to advise anyone when they should have a baby. I mean, if I was the incredibly fertile, I-plan-conception-accurately-so-my-kids'-birthdays-don't-clash type, I'd be pregnant by now, or thinking about it. But given that my next birthday starts with the number 4, you'd think that - even if you didn't know my personal infertility history - you'd shut up about the second kid thing, no? Those kinds of comments create pressure or stress. I can't imagine doing the same thing in any other situation. Like, if I bumped into a friend on the street, I'd never say - "Isn't it about time you lost 100 pounds? Don't you think you should change jobs? Buy a bigger house?" The implication is that you're not good enough as you are right this minute.

And, while I would always curse my ovaries if they didn't present me with another child, it wouldn't mean that I'd start being miserable with my lot. I have the funniest, most beautiful, smartest kid in the world. For me, the great divide was the difference between not having a child and having one. But the difference between having one versus having two? Not so big, at least not insofar as my satisfaction with life is concerned. Now that I have Julian, I can see a happy future for myself. Before he came along, that wasn't always the case.

A boy and his dog

The boy loves his dog. Today he woke up screaming. Not for "mama". Not for "dadda". But for "Ali", his pug dog. She can cure him of the worst crying jag. She can make him laugh hysterically like no other. Sometimes, he won't eat unless he can give her part of his dinner, bite for bite as he tucks into his own. It's rather cute, and she's sweet about it: she puts up with having toys thrown at her (this, it would seem, is his greatest source of mirth) and doesn't get too frustrated when, on trying to join in the fun and pouncing on said toys, we stop her from tearing them to bits.